A star to shine
by Mina Phantonhive
Summary: Syndra is a troubled teen, who's been walking in thin ice, between Zed and Janna and the perks of being the most smart star guardian. Being in a click with popular people has its trouble.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't really remember a time in my life when Zed wasn't present. We've been friends forever and stuff lead to another stuff, and we're ended up dating. We always knew we'd some darkness inside. But I've always able to control it, different from Zed. He lost control and raped me. The shadows just started their influence and he wasn't able to put himself together. That make me mad. Not the rape. The sex was long overdue, however the lack of control, that make me angry as hell."

"How do you have darkness Syndra? I don't understand. And you suffered a huge violence from someone you've known for your whole life, like you told me. How can you not be angry?"

"I am a really practical person, really. I try to put simple things behind me and analyze what is really important. So I'll be angry with other things."

"You are one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. But this logic of yours is really peculiar. And you need psychological treatment. That's why you're here. If you don't deal with this pain, you cannot recover."

"But recover from what? That's what I've been telling you. I have nothing to recover. I am perfectly fine. I understand that Zed was a weak person who did not respect me and he is gone. I' ve been living with this and I'll survive. Thanks for your kindness."

Syndra stood up and left the office, going home. Arriving there, she called Janna, which she didn't know how to call. Girlfriend, friend, friends with benefits, all of that seemed a little off. But that was how she was feeling. Off.

"How was your session?"

"Fine. I don't know why I have to do this. I completely understand all the motives. I am fine with this."

"Syn, you're a force of nature. There are some people that need to deal with this, you're one of them, but you don't admit it. "

"I won't be seeing him for a long time. So why bother? Hold on, someone is at the door."

She went open the door and faced the whole reason for the therapy sessions:

"Hi Syndra."

"Hi. Zed."


	2. Chapter 2

After a few days, Syndra got used to Zed around again, at least is what she thought, even though she avoided Zed in every single situation they were put together and ran from him like the devil was chasing her himself, she was telling herself everyday that this behavior was pretty normal, running and ignore her ex was something that girls do.

Having bloody nightmares was a normal thing as well. And wake up crying and screaming is something every girl did once in awhile. Thinking about not thinking about him was exhausting, but normal.

Zed was at the same school, but thanks the deities, he wasn't at the same class as hers. She even broke things off with Janna because her mind was a huge mess and it wasn't fair with her, but what she stopped, she really wasn't sure. They made out once or twice, but Syndra did not see herself as a lesbian. She was hooked on Janna, only her. She did even try to like other girls, but, no one was like Janna and that was a pretty selfish thing. However Janna didn't pull herself away from her. This was a big surprise on its own. They were still friends, a comfortable thought.

In that particular day, Syndra was at school with her usual group of friends, composed by Ahri, Sarah Fortune, Ezreal and Soraka. Ahri was telling them how her weekend was great and a lot of guys were hitting on her and she had to scare them away and how horrible was to be so beautiful and desired by man and women. But the purple haired was really annoyed by her friend and showed it by huffing loudly, making everyone in their group laugh.

"Syndra', Ahri called her. " Why are you being so weird lately?"

"What do you mean? Weird? I am always like that. Formal. I am a formal person and I really don't see the importance to us all to know how desirable you are and how you can manipulate people as you please using your beauty being just an object to them."

Ahri ignored her and started talking again. "Since Zed got back you've being strange, ok, stranger than ever and hanging out with those little girls from the other group. And your little adventure with that girl, Janna right? I never thought you'd swing to this side, you never came onto me."

Syndra just breathed really loud, said that Janna wasn't just a girl and left the fox talking to herself, And of course started thinking about Janna and Zed. This love mess was better than thinking about anything else, the dreams about the monster, Zed and the darkness so familiar and Janna and her purity. Wandering around she bumped into someone she hadn't seen and felt on the floor. And saw a familiar hand prompting to help her up.

"Are you ok Syndra?" Zed told her in his baritone voice.

Slapping his hand, "Stay away from me." She put herself up, dismissed him brusquely and walked on the other way. "Syndra, hold on, wait up, please." She heard Zed shouting to her and she was so angry that a black ball looking like a strange bat appeared on her right hand and she threw it at him with all her force. When the ball hit him, he flew to the other side of the hallway and people started to gather around to see what happened. Syndra was shocked and static and Zed seemed really impressed even amused, but bleeding at the same time. She just started running like crazy. "What the hell is going on with me?" She couldn't stop and of course she felt again, being helped by Luxanna Crownguard.

"Do you need help Syndra? The pink-haired asked.

"I…I really do Luxanna. Thanks."

Lux got appalled that Syndra was actually nice to her, even though when she was having that little thing with Janna, she seemed ok, but they never got a chance to talk. She pulled her up and asked how was it going.

"What do you mean?"

"You broke up with Janna even though you seem really heartbroken without her and you are always running away from Zed and you seem to feel something for him too. I've never saw you so confused in my life."

"Is it so obvious?"

"It is."

"I am not used to feel things Luxanna. Feel for people. Zed was always at my life, so I learned to love him just for being him and not because I was commanded by some sort of familiar costume, or biological situation, and Janna appeared to get me clean from Zed. Just to get me clean. It's not fair to her or myself. She is too good for me and I am strange. As the fox says, stranger. Because I need them both, Zed is an asshole and Janna is amazing and I am shit."

"Why are you saying those things about yourself? And you can call me Lux. I believe it's better this way."

"Oh, ok then, Lux. I am saying this because it's true. Zed and I had a history and we didn't ended in the best of terms, you know and Janna, I don't even know what to say about her and I am always know what to say and what to do. But I believe she is better without me"

"She is with Darius again."

Syndra couldn't help the shock that crossed her face. "It was better this way. Darius is normal. He is a guy, very good looking"

"He is a brute, an obnoxious, but normal, And you aren't?"

"Lux, a ball came out of my hand when I was running from Zed. A ball of energy. Dark energy. I am sure I broke his nose."

"Of energy you say?"

"Yes, no, I don't know what it was! Why are you so ok with this, I mean, why are you not running from me?"

"Would you please come with me?"

Syndra assented and walked with Lux outside the Valoran School and when she saw Lux checking the perimeter, she was called by her and just had the time to throw herself onto the floor when she heard Lux shout: "FINAL SPARK" and a huge laser beam coming out of a strange baton in Lux's hands.

"What the hell is this? What just happened?"

"A beam of energy, like you ball."

"My ball is dark, like myself. But how did you discover this? How did you get this kind of power?"

"The first star gave to me."

"First star? Who is she?"

"An elemental being that is going around the universe, but I believe you must receive her visit yourself."

Syndra did not know what to say, but she looked at Lux and said: "Thank you Lux. Thank you for sharing it with me. I really don't know if it is the same thing or the same origin, but, thank you. Your secret is safe with me. I feel a lot better."

"Good to know Syndra. Good to know."

After this at least really odd situation, the two of them said their goodbyes and got separated ways.

When Syndra was going home, the same black ball appeared in front of her and seemed to have little ears, eyes, like kittens. Kitten's head with bat wings. Flowing around her.

"Hi Syndra. I am Multi. All in One, one In All. We've been wanting to meet you for a long time."

"Meet me? Was that you that I threw in Zed's face?"

"Not quite me, but me. You know, I can multiply. That's why my name is Multi. I can be more than one. But I am uno. Like a god or something."

"A god so tiny? But that is logically impossible."

"I knew we would like you. That is the real thing. There is no logic in this situation. We are sent by the First Star with the mission to turn you in a Star Guardian."

"So, what should I do? Is there a sort of mission? Am I alone in this?"

"No. You are not alone. In fact, in this era something really incredible is happening because we have two generations of Star Guardians; the young ones and the experient ones."

"So I am the young one?"

"No. Syndra, you have an old power, an unrestrict one, but is being restricted by your current adolescent life and simpleton problems. That's why you need much help you can gather, that's why we're. Because you are like us. One in All, All in one. "

"Of course. Of course." And with that Syndra passed out.

"Oh fuck, where am I?" Syndra woke up to find herself in a strange room.

"At my house." Zed voice really startled her.

"Did you rape me again?"

Zed paled when he heard her but he said: "No. I did not touched you in this way. I was looking for you and I saw you walking from Garen's sister. You stopped for a minute and collapsed."

"Collapsed?"

"Yes, like a ripe fruit."

"Fuck."

"You didn't curse like this before."

"And?"

"It's strange to see you so composed before and cursing like a sailor now. It's even funny."

Syndra chose to ignore him altogether and asked: "Zed, I hurt you today, right?"

"Right."

"Do you believe that ignore that would stop me?"

"No. Do you think I ignore that I hurt you? I didn't want to be this way Syndra. I love you. I've always loved you."

"Shut up. I am too confused. I love you as well. I don't want that. I wanna hate you. But II have, but you were too weak to control this shit! I am better than you. I've always been better than you in this. About dealing. I deal well with stuff. Now I cannot deal with anything. You got back and I cannot deal with myself. And now I am in love with somebody else as well. And you're back and everything is changing and I cannot cope with this. Where am I? I wanna go home."

"Syndra, let me explain."

"NO! YOU HAD THREE FUCKING YEARS TO TRY TO EXPLAIN. I HAD AND STILL HAVE THE ONLY EXPLANATION I CAN COPE WITH. You cannot say anything different. You have no right to try make amends about this."

"Syndra. Please. I cannot try to tell you how sorry I am. I know that nothing that I try to say will ever erase that. I know that you can't forget...but"

"FORGET? FORGET? How DARE you even suggest that? Do you know what've I been through? Because you're the first person I've learned how to love. You're my first everything. I trusted you with all my darkest secrets. How, how could you not be strong for me? When I was nothing but strong for you. I feel like a noxian inside. How in the very first opportunity you let me down like this? You hurt me. Not in the physical way. No! I told my therapist, yeah, I go to one now, that the sex was long overdue. I wanted and yeah, it would be with you because I was stupid enough to love you for my whole life and trust you! I knew about the shadows. I have the same myself, but I never let them control me because I am not weak. The thing I am most grossed out about is the fact that my virginity belongs to a weak bastard like you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Zed stood speechless when Syndra was screaming and he wasn't going to explain anything to her. She hated him, even though she said she loved him. However the pain in her voice made his heart break.

"Shut up please Syndra. PLEASE!" Zed shouted and she stopped. "Do you believe that was on purpose? That I hurt you because I wanted to? Syndra I love you. Since ever. You say you loved me, but I loved you even before I met you because you're in my dreams since ever. Fuck, my shadows wanted you too, not you but the shadows, but so did I! And how I feel about you, is the only thing I have for myself, that those crazy shadows don't touch. You were the only thing I desired for myself. Not have you just for me, but the action of wanting you, that was the only thing not tainted by those shadows. God I hate myself for what've done. And I even ran away. Fuck. Do you think I don't know? That I wasn't aware? I was controlled, but I felt everything, including you pain. I am sorry Syndra. Sorry for my weakness, sorry for loving you and sorry for coming back. I couldn't stay away. And there are things about yourself that you don't know… and I shouldn't know but like you said, our shadows are the same. Fuck. FUUUUUUCK."

They both stopped screaming and went quiet for a few moments. Just breathing and thinking.

"Zed, I really don't know how to deal with this. Deal with you. I cannot act like everything is normal again. That it's just a relapse, a mistake. And, there are different things now."

"Are you talking about Janna?"

"Yes and no. I love her, but not like you. The love I feel for you is a strange mix of hate, sorrow and happiness. Janna was easy to deal, was light, like a breeze. I don't deserve a breeze, Zed, but I don't deserve this hate either. Please, give me a break to deal with this. With you. Please."

"I'll give you some space, I promise."

The little bat appeared through Syndra's hand and bumped Zed again, but like a caress.

"Who is this little guy?"

"Multi."

"Hi, Multi. How are you buddy?"

"But Zed, aren't you scared? Don't you think this is strange than ever? "

"Why would I be?"

"Fuck."


End file.
